Thursday, May 23, 2013

Finding the Real Me

Most of my life has been ruled by my addiction. I led a double life. I hid behind lies. I kept myself emotionally distant from those who tried to get to know me. I defined myself by my addiction. Whenever someone would say something nice about me, I would always think to myself "well, you don't know the real me, you wouldn't be saying this if you did."

I am starting to realize that I was the one who was wrong all those years. Others could see things in me that I could not see in myself. I was the one who was not seeing the real me.

As part of my recovery, my therapist encouraged me to write what he calls a "Future Picture Statement." This is a statement of qualities or attributes that I would like to have. It is a picture of what I want to be. I finally took the time this week to sit down and write this statement.

Now, as I read through it again and again, I realize this is not a statement of what I want to be. It is a statement of who I really am. This is the real me that I am learning to see.
I am a son of God. I am a powerful witness of the divinity of Jesus Christ and the infinite nature of His Atonement. I faithfully serve my brothers and sisters through service in the Lord's Church and individually as I give them my full attention. I care for my body as the divine temple of my eternal spirit. I am completely faithful to the covenants I have made with God and with my wife. I have been redeemed through the Atonement of Christ and I can do all things through Him.
I have not found all of this real me yet, but I am working on it. Pieces of him are coming out slowly, and I know that with the Lord's help, I will find all of him some day. What a glorious day that will be.

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