Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Beginning

Hello, my name is Edmond Dantes. I have been married to my wife Haydee for a little over 15 years. For the past 25 years, I have been addicted to lust. For me, this has been manifest through my use of pornography and masturbation. About 11 years ago, I admitted my use of pornography to my wife and to my bishop. Haydee and I both thought that would be the end of it, but it wasn't. Within a few months, I was back into my addiction and my lies to cover it up.

About 2 months ago, I had an experience that caused me to realize that my life could no longer continue heading in the direction it was going. I started researching sex addiction and resources for overcoming it. I was hoping to find something that I could do on my own, but that is not how it works. A few days later, I was talking with my wife, and I couldn't stop myself from saying what I was going through. The next day, I told her more about the nature and extent of my addiction. I also called and made an appointment to see the bishop.

Both Haydee and the bishop responded in a manner that was beyond my comprehension. They both responded with love and a confidence that working together we could overcome this addiction. This response was unbelievable to my addicted mind. I could only see myself as a worthless sinner who was undeserving of love from anyone. Their response gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe there was more to me than my addiction. With their encouragement, I've started counseling and attending a support group.

I have also continued researching on my own. It was through this research that I found the LDS Addiction Recovery Blogs. I have found great strength and insights from both the blogs of those struggling with addiction and the blogs of those whose family members are struggling with addiction. What I did not find were any blogs in the middle. That is the inspiration for this blog. In this blog, Haydee and I will be documenting our journey of recovery, both individually and as a couple.

We hope that others will be able to find support and strength from this blog as we have found support and strength from the blogs of others.


2 comments:

  1. Wow. A few numbers different and we nearly have the exact same story. I just confessed to my wife (the second time in our marriage) a few weeks ago about a multi-year relapse. I've found this blog as part of my own sex addiction research. I'm so glad you two are taking this journey together--I look forward to seeing your perspective as I study your blog more closely.

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    Replies
    1. The more stories I hear, the more I realize most of them are very similar. The timeline may be a little different, the details are different, but there are many similarities in all of our stories.

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