Recently, Haydee, reminded me that we are coming close to the one year anniversary of my confession to her. She asked me if I wanted to do anything special to celebrate the progress and healing that have been found in the past year. My response to her was "No, I don't want to do anything special to celebrate that day." I wanted to take some time to explain some of my reasons for not wanting to celebrate.
First, confessing to my wife and then to our bishop was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I had to bring myself to total humility in order to make a full confession of all I had done and the damage I had caused. This was the day I finally turned to the Lord and said, "I don't want to fight this alone any more. I am too weak to do this on my own. I will do whatever you ask of me, but please help me." The love and strength I received from the Lord that day, and that continue today, are more than I could have ever hoped for. The experience is much too sacred to me to celebrate in any ordinary manner.
Second, I have come to more fully appreciate the power of today. I have come to understand that I can easily fall back into the trap of pornography by dwelling on my past mistakes. At the same time, dwelling on past successes can lull me into a false sense of security. The only way for me to stay in a state of recovery is to focus completely on today. I can look back to remember the darkness and remind myself why I don't want to go back there. I can also look forward with a hope in the future, but my focus and energies must be on today and the things I need to do right now.
Finally, the only way I have been able to make it to the point I am at now, is through the power of the Atonement of Christ. The only thing for me to celebrate is the glory of my Lord and Savior. I have done nothing to merit any honor. I will celebrate the mercy of my Lord for pulling me out of the abyss into which I had cast myself, but I can claim no privilege in the rescue.
So, with that, here's to one more day in the Lord. May it be a day that finds all of us engaged with the Lord in the work of salvation for ourselves and those around us.
Showing posts with label mercy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mercy. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Monday, November 11, 2013
To Hear and Do
Recently in my scripture study I have been reading the words of Christ to the Nephites in 3 Nephi. In my reading, I came across a passage that is very familiar to me and to just about anyone who has read the Book of Mormon or the Bible. This time, I recognized some things I had never noticed before.
The second thing I noticed is that both men had to endure the same storm. The wise man was not spared from the trial (that would be counter to God's plan for us). He dealt with the same rain, floods, and wind as the foolish man. The difference is that the wise man was prepared to deal with the situation while the foolish man was not.
We are all going to face hard times in life. Sometimes those are of our own making like the choices I made in my youth that led to me becoming addicted to pornography. Sometimes our challenges are the result of the choices of others like my wife having to live with my addiction. Sometimes life is just hard. That is a normal part of our mortal existence.
Our ability to deal with those challenges without being destroyed is based on our preparation. I understand the words of Christ and I believe Him, but my foundation of faith is built in the doing of His words. I build my foundation every day when I get up and study my scriptures even if it would be nice to lay in bed for an extra half hour. I build my foundation every day when I make a plan for my day and then work to achieve the goals I have set.
I do want to be clear about one thing. Doing these actions of themselves does not give me the strength to withstand my challenges. Doing these actions helps me learn how to rely on Jesus Christ to aid me when I need it. Through doing the words of Christ, I come to know Him better and understand His love and care for me. Through doing the words of Christ, I am more prepared to receive of His grace because I am humble enough to recognize my inability to overcome on my own.
The first thing I noticed is that both the wise man and the foolish man hear the sayings of the Lord. In this context, to hear means to understand and to believe. So, both the wise man and the foolish man understand and believe the words of the Lord. The difference in these two is that the wise man "doeth them."24 Therefore, whoso heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, who built his house upon a rock—25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock.26 And every one that heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them not shall be likened unto a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand—27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell, and great was the fall of it. (3 Nephi 14:24-27)
The second thing I noticed is that both men had to endure the same storm. The wise man was not spared from the trial (that would be counter to God's plan for us). He dealt with the same rain, floods, and wind as the foolish man. The difference is that the wise man was prepared to deal with the situation while the foolish man was not.
We are all going to face hard times in life. Sometimes those are of our own making like the choices I made in my youth that led to me becoming addicted to pornography. Sometimes our challenges are the result of the choices of others like my wife having to live with my addiction. Sometimes life is just hard. That is a normal part of our mortal existence.
Our ability to deal with those challenges without being destroyed is based on our preparation. I understand the words of Christ and I believe Him, but my foundation of faith is built in the doing of His words. I build my foundation every day when I get up and study my scriptures even if it would be nice to lay in bed for an extra half hour. I build my foundation every day when I make a plan for my day and then work to achieve the goals I have set.
I do want to be clear about one thing. Doing these actions of themselves does not give me the strength to withstand my challenges. Doing these actions helps me learn how to rely on Jesus Christ to aid me when I need it. Through doing the words of Christ, I come to know Him better and understand His love and care for me. Through doing the words of Christ, I am more prepared to receive of His grace because I am humble enough to recognize my inability to overcome on my own.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Lessons From Bible Camp
Recently my kids went to a Bible day camp sponsored by a local church (not LDS). They had a terrific time learning and singing and playing. I loved the theme they took from a popular song: Jesus is my Super Hero. (My kids haven't stopped singing that song since camp!)
On the final day they had a special guest visitor at camp-- one of the coolest super heroes ever: Batman came to share his story with the kids.
Batman talked about his job as a hero-- catching the bad guys and putting them in jail. Batman used the law to seek justice. But the criminals would serve their time and never change Batman would find them again back on the streets causing problems. Justice wasn't enough to solve the problem. The criminals needed mercy to change. Batman explained that now, when he meets a bad guy, he puts his arm around them and says, "Let me tell you about my friend Jesus." Jesus' grace alone is what can lead the bad guys home.
What a beautiful lesson. Sometimes as victims of others actions we are so caught up in seeking justice and even vengeance, that we forget that the only way to bring about change is Christ's love and grace. Only His power will enables us and the perpetrators to change. Jesus really is a Super Hero.
On the final day they had a special guest visitor at camp-- one of the coolest super heroes ever: Batman came to share his story with the kids.
Batman talked about his job as a hero-- catching the bad guys and putting them in jail. Batman used the law to seek justice. But the criminals would serve their time and never change Batman would find them again back on the streets causing problems. Justice wasn't enough to solve the problem. The criminals needed mercy to change. Batman explained that now, when he meets a bad guy, he puts his arm around them and says, "Let me tell you about my friend Jesus." Jesus' grace alone is what can lead the bad guys home.
What a beautiful lesson. Sometimes as victims of others actions we are so caught up in seeking justice and even vengeance, that we forget that the only way to bring about change is Christ's love and grace. Only His power will enables us and the perpetrators to change. Jesus really is a Super Hero.
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