Like A Toddler

I love working in the Primary at church.  Oh happy place.  Singing, joy, light, simple, peace.  A few years ago Edmond and I got to work in the nursery together.  We had three or four kids who were just terrified to leave their parents.  Even after weeks of mom and dad playing with them happily in the nursery room, and fun bonding moments with the nursery workers, they were still afraid when mom or dad left the room.  These sweet kids were used to the continual love and constant nurturing of a loving parent- and asking them to trust another adult was SUPER SCARY!  Would mom and dad come back?  Would they be left alone forever?  Could these strangers meet my needs and comfort me when I cry?  It was a hard transition for some of them.

With that image as a backdrop, I have been evaluating my life recently.  After a couple years of comfort and nourishment and feeling God's love powerfully, he left me.  The scriptures had told me that I was only commanded to trust in the Lord, and instructed me not to rely on the arm of flesh- I was safe with that.  I felt good.  Then God sent me to nursery class.  He left me with a man who had broken my trust and hurt me and I was scared.  I was so mad- at God.  Really you command me to trust you- and now you are asking me to extend that trust to someone else?!?  I wanted to scream, "WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING!!!!"  And then God walked away-- he was probably outside the door watching me kick and scream, tantrum, then when that didn't work, lay in a heap and cry for hours at a time.  As a parent I know how hard it is to watch my child experience that heart wrenching pain, disappointment and fear, but I also know that it is a step that will help them forever in life.

Practicing trusting Edmond has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I can't say I have learned how to do it.  I am still practicing... I still have to gird up my courage and face my doubts and fears every time I ask or say something that actually means something to me.  As we were working through this, Edmond asked me a question that has haunted me since.

I was wanting to ask him to come to counseling with me.  He has done his therapy, I have done mine, but I wanted to do some together. But I was so afraid he would feel like I was judging him, that he would feel that I was just doing this to fix him, that it would be perceived as an attack against him.  I was so pathetically afraid-- I started by inviting him to come with me, you know if you want.  He didn't get that hint.  Then I said, do you want to try my councilor, (his had just left private practice) you know, you haven't had someone to talk to for a while.  Didn't work.  Finally, weeks later, I just asked.  It would mean a lot to me if you would come with me.  I want your support.  Edmond's response was classic.  Sure, if it is important to you I'll  be there.  When I was brave enough to tell him that I had been wanting him to come with me for weeks and weeks his statement stung.  "What kind of monster do you think I am that I wouldn't be willing to do something that meant so much to you?"

Love is what has prompted Edmond to get clean and work to stay there.  Not just love for me, but because he loves God and loves himself too.  Edmond would never really want to or intentionally try to hurt me.  He is not a monster.  He is my nursery leader- someone who has promised to do their best to love and care for me.-- Like any nursery leader he will not succeed at meeting my needs at all times.  He is learning, just like I am learning too.  He is practicing responding to my cry for help, attention and love.  I am practicing asking for it.

I'll be honest, my favorite times in nursery were when a child would come up to me and ask me to play with them.  They may give me a baby to love on, or feed me with their pretend food, or ask me to knock down their tower with them, or just race cars or roll a ball together.  They trusted me and wanted me.  I was needed and wanted- and they were loved and supported.  Win-Win. What better way to show my love and trust for Edmond than to invite him to be with me- to see me, to help me, to play with me.  Inviting him to meet my need is a gift of love I can give to him.  Practicing....

Continuing the Journey

It has been a long while since I posted and so much has been happening.  Edmond is still in active recovery.. a place where I am sure he will be for years, relearning how to handle stress, disappointment and hurt in positive ways.  And while he is learning I am learning too.

Honestly, the last six months have been so hellish for me.  You would think that the first six months would be harder, but I was surrounded by God's love and buoyed up and comforted in way that I just felt peace. Two and half years into recovery,  I began to feel the weight of it all.  You could see that in my posts in the spring and summer.  Just heavy, weight, darkness, despair.  I couldn't write, I couldn't feel hope.  It was all darkness.  It was an existential crisis.  What was real?  Did God exist? Could I trust anyone?  I can't even trust myself!  I can't tell truth from lies.  I honestly didn't know what was real anymore. My reality shattered.  All that was left was pain and sorrow.

I was working with a therapist who encouraged me to check out the LDS recovery site for addicts' families.  I read through the first article and sat and cried- then I paced, then I wanted to throw things.  Why?  I was so angry.  The list of feelings addicts loved ones may feel were so trivial. Temple covenants, financial concerns, criminal charges. Sure, issues to address.  But I didn't know who I was anymore.   All of those concerns seemed so far away.  How can I deal with that, if I don't know what I believe, think or want anymore. I had no belief that I would feel joy or light again. I had no belief that I would feel loved, safe or protected.  I worried about and waited for the next disclosure. The next time my heart would be ripped out and stomped on.  How could I even begin to deal with those issues.  My therapist was shocked and stunned that the site would trigger me so much.  He carefully avoided LDS recovery after that.  But I still didn't find peace.

Finally a good friend found an article that explained to me that I wasn't crazy.  That I wasn't off my rocker.  It spoke to me in a way that logically explained why I felt all the things I was feeling.  Finally I was seen and understood  by someone, and I wasn't just CRAZY, or worse an over-reacting, hyper paranoid female!  So this article is long... and very technical/academic.. but is worth the time. 13 Dimensions of Sex Addiction Induced Trauma

After I understood me, I had to be super brave.  I asked Edmond to read it and ask me which aspects applied to me currently.  (It took a couple weeks of wanting, wishing and some hints before I was able to say clearly, aloud, it would mean a lot to me if you would read this and talk to me about it... Sweet man that he was, he asked why didn't you tell me sooner you wanted this-- sheepish grin. I'm learning to trust you with what I really want.)

It was a beautiful way for me to feel validated and seen.  Edmond even asked what he could do.  The answer was just to see me, to understand where I am and love me anyway.  I had felt so much guilt and yuck about all I had been feeling, and having a person I care about most understand me meant so much.  I feel hope.

Wise Words

I have been reading C.S. Lewis' book, Mere Christianity recently and came across a beautiful passage I wanted to share.  I felt inspired by Lewis' words penned more than 60 years ago.  Hoping this brings you or a loved one peace today.

We may, indeed, be sure that perfect chastity- like perfect charity- will not be attained by merely human efforts.  You must ask for God's help.  Even when you have done so, it may seem to you for a long time that no help, or less help than you need is being given.  Never mind,  After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again.  Every often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again.  For however important chastity (or courage, or truthfulness or any other virtue) may be, this process trains us in habits of the soul, which are more important still.  It cures our illusions about ourselves and teaches us to depend on God.  We learn, on the one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and on the other, that we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven.  The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection.

Mere Christianity, Chapter 5

All My Heart, Might, Mind And Strength

It has been a while since either Edmond or I have posted.  Life has been good- and bad and all the things that life generally is.  We have fantastic days and horrific days and busy days and lazy days.  I haven't felt much inspiration for writing.   Nothing until last week.

I was at a YW training meeting and the speaker was discussing the theme from this year and how it ties into next year's theme.  In case you're not familiar with the themes here they are.

This year's focus was to come unto Christ and be perfected in him.

Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.
--Moroni 10:32

In 2015 we will focus on serving:

Therefore, O ye that embark in the service of God, see that ye serve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand blameless before God at the last day.
--D&C 4:2 

We must come unto Christ and allow his atoning sacrifice to become real in our life before we will be able to serve and love as He did.  This has been my focus recently.  Recognizing when Christ's power and love has enabled me to do more and be more than I am or could ever hope to be on my own.  I have seen those little moments, feeling calm when I would naturally want to yell;  finding that my loooong to do list is done, and I still have time to relax before kids get home from school; the moment of peace as I stand in the sun and let its rays warm my skin and feel joy, peace, and love.  All gifts of the Atonement in my life.

Another beautiful truth I found in these scriptures was the injunction to first "love God" then "serve him [God]" with all your heart, might, mind, and strength.

I tend to be a doer.  My tongue in cheek motto is: If a task is worth doing it is worth over doing.  Thus I tend to do (fill in the blank with primary, YW service, recipe creation, cleaning, exercise, or whatever my fancy is at the moment) with ALL my heart might mind and strength--sometimes to the detriment of other things in my life.

But the command is clear.  We are to love and serve GOD only with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength (H.M.M.S.).  There is no benefit to God when I serve the YW with all my H.M.M.S. to the detriment of my family.  Interesting point for me to ponder on.

As the wife of an addict, this phrase gave me so much comfort too.  Just as the Lord asks us to Trust Him-- and doesn't command me to trust anyone else, he asks me to give my H.M.M.S. to the most trustworthy and loving source of strength known to man or woman-- Himself.

The words of a primary song echo the feelings of my heart today.

I know He lives!

I will follow faithfully.

My heart I give to Him.

I know that my Savior loves me.

Coming To Trust

I found a profoundly interesting scripture the other day.  I had been looking up scriptures about trusting the Lord, something I am continually working on, and found one in an unexpected area.

You know the story as well as I do.  Ruth and Naomi.  Ruth leaves her homeland to accompany Naomi into the land of Israel so that, "thy people shall be my people and thy God my God."  Ruth supports the two women by gleaning in the fields of Boaz.  After learning her history, Boaz treats Ruth kindly, extending the offer to drink and eat with his workers, and even to harvest among them.  Ruth questions his generosity and Boaz responded with words of commendation. (This is even before Ruth asks for his hand in marriage...)

The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust. (Ruth 2:12)

I love the imagery of that blessing, "under whose wings thou art come to trust."  Each leap of faith, each hardship endured, each prayer for guidance is a step leading us to full and complete trust in the Lord.  Trust is a process.  Each day our trust in the Lord can grow as we walk in His ways.

I love Nephi's lament-- have you heard it called that before?  Nephi is stressed out because he and his followers have to abandon their land and property to flee from Laman and Lemuel; his parents are dead.  Nephi lists his issues, struggles and problems then defers to the Lord:

I know in whom I have trusted.  My God hath been my support; he hath led me though mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.  He hath filled me with his love....
Oh Lord, I have trusted in thee and I shall trust in thee forever.

(2Nephi 4:19-21,34)

The more I look, the more I see this pattern.  List of all my problems; testimony of the blessings the Lord has poured out to those who trust him. Paul recounts the blessing and miracles received when people trusted and had faith in God (Hebrews 11).  Alma testifies to his son Helaman of his personal witness of the Lord's miraculous hand in healing his heart and leading him in the path of apostleship as he learned to trust the Lord (Alma 36-- I love verses 3 and 27).

Maybe I need to write my own account.  Here have been my problems and here is how the Lord has delivered me as I put my trust in Him.  I'm still coming to trust in His ability to deliver me, but even in that process of coming, I am learning, becoming, and growing.   His wings protect and cover me in my storms and guide me to the highest mountain peaks.  I shall trust in Him forever.

Relying on the Lord's Love

I happen to be a terrific, fantastic and wonderful person-- or at least I remind myself that I am-- and that is the image I try to present to the world-- an amazingly accomplished woman.  But really on the inside I feel afraid of others' judgments, afraid of being insignificant, afraid of being wrong and doing wrong, afraid of disappointing others.  Afraid.  I reaffirm to myself that I am "good enough, smart enough, and gosh dang it, people like me!"  But offered criticism, advice or even an opposing opinion, my natural reaction is to do a complete internal self-evaluation and to second guess my judgment or actions.

Through Edmond's addiction recovery, I felt profoundly God's love for him.  I know that God loves Edmond, a wonderful man who has sinned, so why do I doubt His love for me and believe the put-downs I tell myself.  In my meditations I state, "I am a powerful witness of God's intense and enduring love."  Do I remember that His love is for me as well?

Reflecting on this pattern,  I remind myself I am relying on the arm of flesh and not on my Redeemer!  (Even that feels like a slap in the face... Man I have got to be better, do better...)

I have been thinking a lot about what it really means to rely on the Lord.  What does healthy reliance look like; how does one act if one is relying on the Lord.  I loved the suggestions of Edwin Crozier in his sermon 5 Ways to Rely on God's Strength to Beat your Giants.  The idea that resonated with me was to walk in God's presence, by inviting the Lord to walk beside you each day.  Talking to the Lord about all that you are doing and how you feel about it.  The constant prayer in your heart to keep His presence in your memory.  He says,

Talk with Him while you go through your day. Share what you are about to do. Ask Him to help with the decisions you are about to make. Follow-up with thanks for blessings that occur. If you fall, talk to Him about why it happened. This helps because it’s hard to gossip about your co-worker if you begin by asking God if He thinks it’s okay. It’s hard to look down a woman’s flapping shirt if you first run it by God to see what He thinks about it.

I would add as a reminder to myself, talk to Him about why He loves you.  Talk to him about why you feel down about yourself.  Talk to him about your plans, your diet, your choices, your failures (cooking and otherwise) and ask him to reassure you of his love.  God's love, charity, never faileth.

Trust in the Lord

One thing I struggle with is allowing others to help me. I am naturally a person who likes to do things myself. This trait was reinforced as I was growing up because I never really had anyone I could turn to for help when I needed it. My family was constantly moving. We were never in one place long enough to develop any kind of relationship with teachers or church leaders. I never even felt like I could go to my parents for help.

One of the tragic consequences of this mindset is that I also never learned to turn to the Lord for help when I needed it. I always felt like I had to do everything on my own.

As part of my recovery, I am trying to learn how to rely more on the Lord (I say trying because I'm not sure it's fully sinking in yet). I have had this on my mind over the past few days. As I have been thinking about it, a couple of scriptures have come to mind.

The first is the response of the people of King Benjamin to his teachings:

And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually. (Mosiah 5:2)

 The people of King Benjamin did not change their hearts. It was the Spirit of the Lord which did the changing. The people had to allow the Holy Ghost to work in their hearts for this change to take place. They could not do it for themselves.

The second scripture that has come to mind is the account of Christ in Gethsemane as recorded by Luke:

41 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed,

 42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.

 43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. (Luke 22:41-43)

Even Christ needed a little extra strength and encouragement. If He could not do it completely on His own, what makes me think that I can do anything on my own.

The reality is that I can't do it on my own. I need the strength of my Lord and Savior. He is the one I must put my trust in. I cannot trust in myself.

Thankful for My Addiction?

In a recent group meeting we were talking about the daily struggle with sexual addiction. Our facilitator brought up Captain Moroni and how "his heart did glory in ... resisting temptation" (Alma 48:16). We went on to talk about finding glory in our struggles and tribulations. As we were discussing these things, the following story came back to my mind:

“A teacher, conducting a class, said it was unwise ever to attempt, even to permit them [the Martin handcart company] to come across the plains under such conditions.

“[According to a class member,] some sharp criticism of the Church and its leaders was being indulged in for permitting any company of converts to venture across the plains with no more supplies or protection than a handcart caravan afforded.

“An old man in the corner … sat silent and listened as long as he could stand it, then he arose and said things that no person who heard him will ever forget. His face was white with emotion, yet he spoke calmly, deliberately, but with great earnestness and sincerity.

“In substance [he] said, ‘I ask you to stop this criticism. You are discussing a matter you know nothing about. Cold historic facts mean nothing here, for they give no proper interpretation of the questions involved. Mistake to send the Handcart Company out so late in the season? Yes. But I was in that company and my wife was in it and Sister Nellie Unthank whom you have cited was there, too. We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism? Not one of that company ever apostatized or left the Church, because everyone of us came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities.

“‘I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and I have said, I can go only that far and there I must give up, for I cannot pull the load through it.’” He continues: “‘I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there.

“‘Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay, and I am thankful that I was privileged to come in the Martin Handcart Company.’”

This story was quoted by Elder James E. Faust in his talk "The Refiner's Fire" from the April 1979 General Conference (by the way, the entire talk is worth reading).

I have been thinking more about this the past several days. I have been looking at how this relates to my journey in recovery from sexual addiction. Was it a mistake for me to indulge in my addiction? YES, it was. Would I choose again to myself and my family through the devastation caused by my actions? NO, I would not.

With that being said, this addiction is something that requires me to humble myself and trust in the Lord. Those are things I am not very good at on my own. In fact, I am really terrible at them. This journey of recovery is the price I am paying to become acquainted with God, and for that, I am thankful.

Trial of My Faith

And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith. (Ether 12:6)

 I have always misunderstood the concept of a trial of my faith. I always thought of a trial of my faith as some great event that I would need to struggle through and rely on the Lord, and eventually He would help me through it. For a long time, I thought my addiction was that trial of my faith. I didn't understand that it was an addiction. I believed I didn't have enough faith because the Lord did not help me overcome my temptations.

Now, I realize that the Lord does help me overcome my temptations, but not in the way I expected. I always expected that these things would no longer be a temptation for me. Instead, the Lord helps me to overcome them by not giving in. I still have the temptations, but I don't act on them.

In my previous post, I talked about being able to walk away from temptation. I am able to do this right now with help from the Lord. I prepare myself each day to receive His help by doing my morning routine of scripture study, meditation, and daily planning.

The question is, "What does this have to do with faith?". I have come to realize that the trial of my faith is not to wait for the Lord to take my temptations away from me. The trial of my faith is to consistently do the little things each day that allow me to call upon Him for strength when I need it.

This has been a huge paradigm shift for me to realize that a trial of my faith is not about making it through some huge experience. Rather, the trial of my faith is to get up 45 minutes earlier each day so I can do the things I have been asked to do in order to be able to walk on the road of recovery.

The witness I receive after the daily trial of my faith is to be able to make it through one more day in active recovery. This cycle of trying my faith each day and receiving a witness of its power each day has grown into an even greater witness to me. I can now see the hand of the Lord in my life each day. With that comes and even greater faith and desire to do the things He has asked of me because I now know that He will help me to be able to do them.

Faith and Diligence

First off, I need to apologize for taking so long to write this post after the last one. Life has been incredibly hectic for me the last few weeks. I'm glad that Haydee was able to write during that time so there has been a presence here.

I have been thinking about a post that details the things I was able to do to remain engaged with my wife's family rather than withdrawing as I talked about in my previous post. I was struggling with how to approach the topic. Then, as I was doing my scripture study this morning I came across what I was looking for.

As part of his teachings to his son, Helaman, Alma talks about the experiences of Lehi's family with the Liahona:

And it did work for them according to their faith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day. (Alma 37:40)

There are a couple of key things here that are important. First, faith. This is not a generic "faith in Christ" kind of faith. While that type of faith is a necessary beginning, the faith Alma is talking about is the specific belief that "God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go." Lehi and his family had to have faith that the specific miracle they were looking for was possible.

The next key is that "they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God." By exercising this specific faith that the Liahona could point them in the direction they should travel in the wilderness, they received that miracle, but they also received other miracles based on their faith in that one specific thing.

The final key is that this was done "day by day." Lehi and his family had to look at the Liahona every day. They could not take a day off. They could not think to themselves, "we know what direction we are going; we don't need to look today." When they took this attitude, things did not work out for them:

Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works. They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey;

Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did not travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst, because of their transgressions. (Alma 37:41-42)

So, how does this relate to my ability to be engaged with my wife's family? It's really simple. In learning about my addiction and recovery from addiction, I have been given a few simple things to do each day; my dailies. I do these things each day with faith that they will allow me access to the power of God to be able to overcome any temptations I may face that day.

There are three things I do every morning to help me in my recovery. I study the scriptures. I don't just read any more. I begin my study with a prayer asking for help to learn what the Lord would have me learn that day. I then read with a full purpose trying to understand every detail of what I read until I find what I feel the Lord has for me to learn that day. I do not read a certain number of verses or chapters or for a certain amount of time; I read until the Holy Ghost speaks to my heart and I learn something. I then record what I have learned in my study journal so I can go back and remember what I have learned.

The second thing I do is meditate. I'm not talking about sitting in the lotus position and chanting "ohmmmm". The meditation I do is much more focused. It is designed to help me be aware of my thoughts and lead them in the direction I want them to go. I will write a post describing this type of meditation later.

The third thing I do each day is to make a daily plan. This is a plan of small measurable goals that focus on different areas to help me be healthy. I make goals relating to my physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual health. They are simple things that I need to do during the day to stay healthy. For example I might set a goal in the physical area to eat my 5 servings of fruits and vegetables that day. A goal in the emotional category could be something like having a conversation with one of my children. A spiritual goal would be something like listen to a General Conference talk. In the beginning, my goal in the sexual area was just to not act out that day, but now, I have come to the point where I focus on my thoughts more than my actions. If my thoughts are clean, my actions will follow.

The best part about these is that the miracles that come each day are not limited to my ability to remain sober. I am blessed with other miracles also. I am blessed with the ability to engage others even in crowded settings and not withdraw. I am also blessed with an ability to focus on my work and do more in a day than I have ever been able to before.

None of these things are difficult to do. They are small actions on my part. The key is that I do them each day with faith that I will be blessed to be able to progress on my journey in the most direct course that day. I have to remember why I do these things each day. If come to the point where I think I can do things on my own and I don't need these tools any more, the miracles I have been seeing will cease and I will not progress on my journey.

Trusting in the True Source

A few months ago, I wrote my future picture statement (a positive statement of who I am and who I want to be).  I felt inspired to include,  "Because I know who I am, I trust."  I want to trust the people around me, Edmond especially, but I have struggled with feeling down, because I do not always trust-- others or myself for that matter.  I feel disappointment that I don't measure up to my own expectations or hopes.

As I have been working through this, I realized that the only person I am commanded to trust is the Lord.  In fact, Nephi admonishes, "Cursed is he that putteth his trust in man, or maketh flesh his arm, or shall hearken unto the precepts of men, save their precepts shall be given by the power of the Holy Ghost" (2 Nephi 28:31).

Contrast that with, "And whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he" (Proverbs 16:20).

When I trust in the natural man, I am frustrated, bitter, angry, hurt and disappointed-- all the muck Satan wants me to wallow in.  When I rely on the Lord, I feel peace, hope, joy, compassion, and love-- the character traits of the Savior himself.

As I trust the Savior, I find Him near me, leading and guiding me to "green pastures" and "still waters."  Though I still must toil through my challenges, "I fear no evil for [He is] with me"  As I continue to trust the Lord, "goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever" (Psalm 23).

When I feel overwhelmed and afraid, I can trust that, "the lord hath not given me the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7).

When I feel discouraged I can "lift up [my] head and rejoice and trust in... that God who was the God of Abraham" and know that He will deliver me as he did the people of Israel (Mosiah 7:19).

When I feel sad I can remember that the Lord "in all cases" extends His "arm of mercy towards them that put their trust in him" (Mosiah 29:20).

Because I am His Daughter, I Trust the Lord!