On to the Victory!

I have been struggling the past few weeks with what to write. I've had a few ideas but nothing seemed to feel right. Then, this morning it came to me.

First, a little background. Recently, I've been feeling the need to work on my family history. I haven't really worked on it for several years. Along with that, as I was trying to decide what to study in the scriptures this week, I really felt impressed to study Doctrine and Covenants section 128. This is a section specifically talking about baptism for the dead.

In my study this morning, I came across a verse encouraging us in our efforts in redeeming the dead, but I also saw an application to recovery work:

Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad. Let the earth break forth into singing ... for the prisoners shall go free. (D&C 128:22)

Is not recovery from the plague of addiction for ourselves and our loved ones a great cause? Should we not be going forward in this work each day? We should rejoice and be glad because we will go free from our prisons.

I know I have been in prison. I have been in a prison of my own making due to the choices I have made. Now, I am breaking free from this prison. I am not completely free, and I may never be completely free in this life. I still have struggles. There are still days when it is incredibly difficult, but those days are not holding me back from my progression. Those days are a reminder of where I have come from and where I am right now.

My challenge each day is to go forward and not backward. I can learn from the past, but I cannot change it. Change only comes by moving forward.

With this in mind, we should all be prepared to move on to the victory!

The Great Escape Artist

I'll be honest.  Summer kicks my trash.  Being a mom during the summer is harder for me than running a marathon (and that is not my idea of fun)!  Most days I wanted to yell at my kids, "YOU THREW OFF MY GROOVE!" and have them thrown out the window.

Summer full-time mom-ing throws into stark relief ALL my parenting/personality foibles.  The seemingly opposite desires to control those around me and keep everyone happy; to work hard and relax deeply; to keep the house tidy (at all times) and play freely; to sing joyfully amid complete silence.

As the summer progressed I found myself, struggling to balance life, the demands of my children, the chaos of happy (and sometimes not so happy)  play, and the managing of a household.  When I couldn't do it all, I began escaping into books, sneaking food to my room, eating with a closed door so nobody would ask, "Why can't I have cookies at 8 am?  I found myself thinking, I can't do it; I'm just going to ride out the storm.

Fast forward to today.  I have started running with a good friend who is getting into shape and has little running experience (AND she is joining the Army-- how cool is that!).  As we were running this morning I was explaining the difference between pushing through a run and relaxing into the run.  Powering through will get you to the finish line if you're close, but the goal is to relax and let your body do the work.  Your will can not overcome the workload-- it is irrelevant in running.  More energy is expended when power through something, than when you relax into it.  Surrender to the run-- or what ever workout you're doing and life will be fantastic.

Great concept right.  I've taught this concept many times; I've blogged about it before; I know this!  Maybe not.  Today I realized that I have been trying to Power Through my summer.  When the power method fails, I give up and escape into a my world of books/food/facebook/???.  My will does not need to be imposed, and I don't need to retreat.  I just need to surrender to life.  Allow my feelings to be real.  And run on.